Fwee Carter (fwee_prower) wrote,
Fwee Carter

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11 weeks... iv been sick. someone please stop the pain

look im counting weeks again! im gunna update wooo. i saw The Amityvile horror. and it fucking scared me. i had to cover my eyes all the time. i dont like scary movies.

i really i got to stop pretending im all better when im not because im getting worse and its starting to get noticable. i was at a party last week and i was in soo much pain i had to laydown.
Yesterday i tried the beer goggles and i really shouldnt of cuz i was dizzy because of my meds and the goggles i wasnt walking straight all day. but on the bright side I GOT THROUGH THE CONES! i didnt knock one over. wooo and i got a fanzy keychain.
my eye sight is really getting wierd and blurry and clear and it burns and hurts all the time.

I really need this surgery and i want the pain to stop because im getting worse and worse and sleeping more and more and eating less and less. But my mom is being crazy and everyone i know is pissed off at her including all my teachers and the nurses. they asked me so many times if they could call my mom to yell at her. but she wouldnt take me even after that. she'd jus yell at me. my friends have told me to call child protection services but that wouldnt be much help.

in other news. im starting to really dislike going to school or classes. because i feel like such a outcast in class. everyone talks to each other and have known each other for years and i still feel new. Im always in the corner by myself while everyone else around me talk to each other and play games. no even really attemps to talk to me or anything. the only people that talk to me in school are people that are really friends with me.

with me being in pain all the time i want to die. and with me being alone in school i wanna die. i just have the worst luck in my life. or this is just my medicine talking... i dont know but i feel soo lonely in
Math- jus people talk to me to ask questions about the problem or if i had a extra pen or paper
Spanish- i know no one here. when we have to do projects im always by myself. everytime and no one wants to really talk to me and they ignore my exsistance in the classroom. no wonder im always nervous when im up infront of the class. but seriously everyone in the class is friends with each other except me who is always sitting by myself and alone.
Forensics- no one talks to me except for precious, the teacher, and well the person that sits next to me.
Physics- i basically sit by myself and no one talks to me or anything. again here when we have to do group projects im always by myself.

the other classes are kinda ok. there are at least one person i know or at least wants to talk to me. but this has been going on every school year of baldwin. im always by myself in all my classes always alone.

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