Last week my parents went to ireland. leaving me with really 50 bucks which i had to use (i got 40 andrew got 60, they left 20 dollar bills) so i had to use it twice on sat and sunday (16 dollars for a train ticket.) so i could go to comic con. which i planned on going and paied for my ticket over the summer before college started.
i had to do some projects. but wait i have no ride of getting to school. or getting home. so i cant do projects since my brother has to go to the city during the day. so i had to do my final project today. and its due tomorrow. i have to get film developed before then. i even told my parents on sunday when they get back to remind them i would be staying after school today and weds to work on it. today i call my dad so he can pick me up and take the film to this place. he says he cant cuz it would be too late. oh and him and my mom are going to brooklyn so i have no way of getting home. until the college CLOSES. WTF?? my mom even tells me i should of told them i was gunna stay after school and i shouldnt stay after school. soo basically im royally fucked in my final. i have no way of getting in most of the stuff now due to my parents lousy timing. i will fail thanks to them. they never help me at all. when i ask to give in film they forget and i hand it in late. etc. and for this project i needed to use this filter. i had to buy it but no i couldnt. my dad gave me a hundred dollar limit. so i could only buy less then half the less expensive supplies. so i dont have that part. and since i dont have the film i cant get it printed. and that cant get handed in. so im seriously on the brink of just failing.
on a side note i notice that if i dont take my meds i become suicidal, insane, different personalities, forgetfull, clumsy, and seriously thoughts of me always dieing or being seriously beaten or hurt that im in the hospital. i've even been having dreams of me dieing and even had a dream of going to hell. im constantly having conversations with myslef and having arguments with "Emily" a personality i created of an older sister. I seriously dont even know who i am. and i cant evevn remember things that happen a few seconds ago. i evevn have a short attentionspan. i seriously just need to move out or something before all this fucking drama kills me. I seriously think im the emboydement of Death now even having arguments with Death himself in my mind.
I seriously dont know what to do....