Fwee Carter (fwee_prower) wrote,
Fwee Carter

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i wanna just die...

a couple of days ago i did something i really regret... my right hand isnt the same anymore. it hurts all the time. i hate my family. thats the only thing i hate ever. they make my life worse every day and i wanna just die. my friends (perin, tim, jason, alex, shareese, rae) you guys i thank cuz u really helped me in my time of need. and i was happy again and everything. i noticed i have wierd ways of showing emotion... im alwyas happy when around people. im never mean or angry. i like helping people in need. i wanna be a super hero. but when im around my family i feel anger, hate, sadness, depression, and suicidal. when i work hard and hard on something and not reconized for it or my family does something to me so big i just shut down or i just release all my emotions with rage i cant control. its soo scary when i shut down. im in a dark cold place and im crying and i cant move or speak at all. but monday night they did something and it didnt make me shut down or angry. it made me wanna cease to exsist. and as the days go by they make it worse... my dad does not want to to send me to florida or jamacia to stay with my grandparents. he wants to send me away from here to keep me out of "trouble" in other words he wants to keep me away from guys, boys, ect. my dad tells me im selfish and i care about only myself everyday while my grandparents call me retarded and stupid and my mom calls me a wierdo and freak and my brother calls me a loser with no friends and no one would ever like me. its getting so much worse by the day and i dont know what to do... everytime im around them i wanna die...

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